School is on my mind most of the time to be honest. I really hate it, because thinking about school inevitably puts me in a bad mood, and then I think about school some more. It's like an endless cycle. Thanksgiving break was a chance to break the cycle, and I intend to do just that. Unfortunately, the only way to stop thinking about school involves not doing homework, which is probably a bad call. And that's my dilemma. Fall back into the endless cycle of homework and depressing classes or stop doing homework and fuck myself in an entirely different manner. Choices, choices.
Friends are another thing a think about a fair amount. Not very specific, right? It's almost crazy, the divide that exists between my friend circles. I have my engineering friends, defined as those people whom I attend my classes with. As much as I enjoy being around these people, the fact that 95% of the time spent with them involves the doing of homework makes me almost dread their company. It's not them themselves so much as the ever present school conversation that occurs. I hate talking about thermodynamics during class, let alone during my relaxation time. It's a shame, because one of my closer engineering friends is an infinity awesome and entertaining person, yet this person's presence almost guarantees some sort of engineering talk. On the other hand, we have my "real" friends as I generally call them. These are the people I drink and relax with. It's probably not a coincidence that none of them are engineers (at least not anymore). Unfortunately, the majority of these friends are graduating this year, leaving me to a very engineer-y fate.
Finally, similar to the majority of my male peers, I tend to think about my lack of a relationship quite a bit. I have mixed feelings when it comes to finding a girlfriend. I'd probably be happier than I am now. Considerably happier as a matter of fact. I am kind of a cranky asshole most of the time after all. Yet anytime I find a girl I'd happily date, they are either already in a relationship, or I passively drive them away with my dickishness. I'd ask my friends for advice, but I'm not sure any of the people I know are particularly apt when it comes to building successful relationships. It doesn't help that I can never muster the balls to ask girls out. I suppose that's what alcohol is for.
I know I generally come across as kind of a bitter asshole. I really don't like that this has become my reputation. It's my own damn fault of course, but I am trying to be a nicer and friendlier person. Old habits die hard though, you know? I doubt I really have an audience with these blogs, but if you know me and happen to read this, I just want you to know I am trying to change the way I present myself. Don't hesitate to give me tips, alright? Also, more people should sit their friends down and give them a penny for their thoughts. I occasionally have awesome ones, so I might very well charge a quarter.
~Cheers!
